Just breathe

I went to a great MeetUp this weekend in North Seattle. A practitioner of Byron Katie's The Work held an afternoon workshop that was very good. The Work (http://www.thework.com/thework.asp) is a terrific tool for getting in charge of your thinking and beliefs. Very powerful, and empowering. And the site has a lot of great free information and resources.

One of the things I love about any of the methodologies of deepening, healing and discovering new frontiers, aspects and potentials within ones self is that really there are some number of stories and really we all share them to one degree and another. The woman I was seated next to was very vocal and experienced in The Work and I was naturally a bit unsure of myself at first with her. In my process of doing it different and changing normal in my own life I find my emotions are very near the surface most of the time. As a poet, a woman, a human being, and a spiritual being, I find that having my emotions flow such much is very healthy and reflects my true values, but as a "middle-aged" woman in the professional world I find it rather challenging to deal with and not judge myself for it, or care when others judge me for it. When the time came to work with a partner I was of course matched up with her. (you draw to you what you resist!)

(Please go see the site to get a real description and understanding of the work - I'm only describing my experience with it. I'm not trying to teach it or anything here.)

When you do the work with someone you hear some intimate things about them and as they are affected and sometimes swept away with their emotions, like I was when it was my turn, you gently remind them of the belief they are working on and bring them back to topic. The session went well enough when she was helping me. At this point I have gotten used to being emotional in front of people especially when it is a safe, healing setting, so of course I cry at least some. So I didn't really mind crying in front of someone I didn't know, and as much healing work as I have done I figured she could relate to what I was working on. I haven't ever been in a healing session where I couldn't relate to my clients, and I've heard so many stories - enough to know that none of us have created any new emotions since time began, and that we all have them, just to an infinite shading and degree.

When we switched turns, and she did know the procedure, but since she was actively doing it and working on her own stuff (stuff I totally related to and could have been saying myself), she was in her emotions (rightly so) and so I helped her back to her topic and supported her as she did the work. I was laughing at myself inside for how I had felt a bit vulnerable and intimidated by her before we worked together. I laughed at my falling for the lie that I'm not good enough (therefore others are better than me) again, and how even though I have improved a great deal in this area, I still fall for it. But laughing kindly at myself for that instead of 1) totally believing it or 2) beating myself up for it - again -- this is a great reminder of how far I have come.

In the end some of us exchanged phone numbers and we may get together at some point. Who knows.

It was so clear (again!) how we are all convinced that we are the only ones with this or that and feeling isolated. Partly we isolate ourselves for various reasons, but also our culture isolates us, ignores us, makes us irrelevant.
Who among us hasn't enjoyed attention and favors in the world - from being waited on a little faster to getting out of a speeding ticket, etc. and then woken up one day and Boom! you're suddenly invisible. It is the weirdest thing.

My pal Mary Jane and I had a lot of discussions about that, trying to figure it out and just how to adjust to it, when it first happened to us. And tonight I was surfing imdb.com, one of my favorite sites (I love movies. I have a very cosmic, spiritual relationship with movies). I'd seen Diana Rigg in Network earlier and so I wanted to read her biography on imdb. and in the Personal Quotes section, she talks about suddenly being invisible! Diana bloody Rigg! One of The Most Fabulous women of the 1960's! I can't imagine anyone being dumb enough as to not see her, or think she's not relivent, or has nothing other than sex appeal to offer! Absurd, not to mention sexist. I'm sure I'll come back to this rant later.

Where I was going with this is that we've all been programmed to believe that we are alone feeling like this, and we aren't. As Tony says, we know all these amazing women who are spiritual and healers and creative as all get out, living in a culture that totally doesn't care or value any one it can't make a buck off of, so we buy the lie that we aren't good enough or that people don't want what we have to offer, and it's a crock. In fact the world needs us more than ever.

Each one of us has a specific note to sing in the chorus of the Universe and the song isn't complete when even one of us don't sing our note to the fullest of our ability. God/The Universe/our Spirit selves doesn't make junk. Our special gifts are needed - here and now - today. We need each other to be who we really are. Imagine how different (better) the world would be if we all actually Showed Up as ourselves. Our real, full, powerful-yet-vulnerable selves... For one thing we wouldn't be able to keep the lie that we were alone and irrelevent!

Just breath. Breath into being. Breath into grounding into the now. Breath into being who you truly are. Just breath.