Quick Notes

Short version:

It is cheaper – financially, emotionally and self-credibility – to buy/get what you actually want, because there is no Enough of what you don’t want.

For years I've bought the cheaper versions of things, then another cheap version, until eventually I either had a lot of what I didn't want and/or finally got the version I actually wanted in the first place at which point I'd spent a lot more then the simple cost of the thing I really wanted. This goes for food and all the other appetites as well.

Second chances are 100,000 choices in what you tell yourself and what you do taken every day.

If you don’t have it in you to believe in yourself and can’t seem to stop the avalanche of all your failings, suggest to yourself simply, “Maybe not. I could be wrong.” Repetition helps break the wall of the lies we tell ourselves about ourselves, the world, what things meant, and what’s possible. The cheery people already know this. That’s why they are always telling themselves and everyone else how lucky they are – and mean it, without sarcasm!

Repetition helps make things real for the body/personality, so pick a sentence of something you really want, like, “Quitting smoking is the easiest thing I’ve ever done.” and write it down over and over again. Fill a notebook page with it. The physical experience of hand writing is more potent than the mechanical activity of typing. I did this in a careless, non methodical way for about 6 months off and on before I quit smoking. Think of it as counter-programming.

Sure, everyone in our world has been and is programming us all the time, but the most important and powerful programmer is ourselves - own thoughts. I’d heard this for years and talked about it often. I had techniques for releasing old programming and practiced them a lot and they helped. I know that it was true that I was mean and hard on myself and I’d had a lot of glimmers and improvement over the years. But finally I saw how I had been adding new toxic programming reinforcement faster than I was cleaning out the old stuff by how crummy I kept feeling if I didn’t stay really, really vigilant. I realized that I had so desperately not wanted to be “one of those people” who I believed thought too highly of themselves I had gone in the exact opposite direction. I’d become one of those people who lied to myself fall the time – in the negative because I didn’t want to lie to myself like those other people.

Naturally when I meditated on this and asked spirit about this I was shown how there was one specific person from early childhood who modeled the things I didn’t want to be like – the one who wasn’t good at receiving but a “taker”. I didn’t want to be a “taker” so I was lousy at receiving because I didn’t know the difference. And this was the same person who always professed such a high opinion about themselves, acting like Royalty while everyone else was supposed to be Subjects, so I didn’t want anything to do with arrogance (to claim for ones’ own). I was so far repelled by and in resistance to these kinds of things that I became their antitheses, which really is just the same in reverse. The gargantuan arrogance of the inferiority complex is just as damaging and unpleasant to be around as the famous opposite. Competition (from either direction) does not contribute any healing or benefit at all, just more derision, distrust and meanness.

I didn’t want to lie to myself by saying positive or supportive things to myself. Then I realized that at least half of the things I said to myself in the “constructive criticism” category were in fact lies. They were the most hateful versions and interpretations of things I had done and said. Kind of like Fox news talking about democrats. Once I realized that it was in fact a lot easier to see the truth in the bumper sticker, “Don’t believe everything you think.” Finally I could see the viciousness people had been telling me about of so long.